Much Ado About Engines
by johnnycdaman
Summary: My newest Shakespearean Thomas tale! Follow the engines in their newest quest for love (and lack thereof) in the world of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing!
1. Chapter 1

Spring had arrived on the island of Sodor. Passengers and tourists flooded the stations as much as the flowers on the trees. The biggest bunch of them all- none other than Ulfstead Castle.

Sir Robert Norramby always enjoyed this. After all, the eccentric old man absolutely loved attention- the fact that hundreds of people couldn't wait to tour his immaculate home gave him a feeling of excitement he could never explain. But it also made him feel welcome. After being away for so long, it was nice to know these people didn't just come to see his house- for they liked Sir Robert (and his tiny French engine, Millie) as well.

Sir Robert was especially excited this morning. Stephen "The Rocket" as well as Gordon, and a couple other of Sir Topham Hatt's engines, had been sent to the Mainland to Great Railway Show. The old man was happy for them, he liked attention, and so did the engines. But he did miss seeing them around, and was giddy to welcome them back.

Caitlin, Molly, and Toby (who had returned early to Sodor for the unexpected load of visitors) were chatting idly when Sir Robert ran up to them, excitedly waving a letter from the Fat Controller.

"Hello everyone! Do I have the happiest news!" He chirruped. "According to this letter, Stephen the Rocket and all the engines are returning to Messina tonight! At last!" The engines grinned widely upon the hearing the news.

"Hm, They must be near by now." Toby replied. "When I had returned to Sodor, they were about nine hours behind my schedule."

"And how was the railway show?" Sir Robert asked curiously.

"Very interesting!" The old tram answered. "It turns out Mainlanders have never set eyes on a steam tram before- at least no one asked if I was electric this time." The others laughed.

"And I bet it will be even better once our dear friends arrive home!" The nobleman hooted. "This letter also says that Percy has received special recognition- per Stephen's request. What kind, old, engine!" He sighed.

"If there's anyone who deserves special honors lately, it's Percy." Toby chimed back in. "Little engine has been covering for everyone the previous week- staying up all night, delivering the mail, then rushing to the Docks, then the Quarry...even the Express! He's exceeded all of our expectations!" He finished, proud of his little green friend.

"I'm sure Sir Topham was just as pleased!" Sir Robert agreed heartily.

"Hey Toby, has that "fat new tank engine" gotten the recognition he's been so badly craving?" Caitlin spoke up, curiously.

Sir Robert and Toby paused and looked at each other. _New tank engine? Fat?_

"She's talking about Gordon." Molly laughed, seeing their faces, to which the two shared a chuckle of acknowledgment.

"You see, once Gordon was deemed too "fat" to use the turntable at Knapford, so the workmen made him use it backwards! Some boys thought he was "new tank engine", because he looked so much like Thomas back to front."

The others burst out in laughter. Sounds like something that would happen to Gordon...

"Fat in ego, maybe," Molly added, sighing once she caught her breath.

"Size too, dear," Caitlin quipped. "God only knows what he'd look like as a human- probably sagging with body fat like those silly humans!"

"My, my, Caitlin!" Sir Robert giggled. "Surely Gordon won't hear about this insult! And you must admit- the engine has some impressive records on the Express!"

"Pulling trains at 120 mph, but still can't lose a few pounds," Caitlin mused wryly.

"Gordon and Caitlin have been in a bit of a spat lately, Sir Robert," Toby grinned to the nobleman, who was unfazed- in fact, the old man loved drama.

"Yes, and I'm winning!" The red engine retorted. "I'm faster, slimmer, and smarter! Gordon may be fast, but he has the mentality of bucket of rocks. Then he has the audacity to call the rest of us "silly, dumb engines" - the absolute nerve! Tell me, Toby, who is he hanging around this time? The usual Henry and James?"

"Gracious- you really don't like Gordon, huh?" Toby asked, raising an eyebrow, still smiling. "You'll be shocked to hear this- but he and Percy have been on especially good terms lately!"

"Oh dear- Percy?! The poor engine- Hopefully Gordon won't make him lose his innocence..."

"Too late- Thomas kind of ruined him already." The tram answered with a small chuckle.

"Well, I'd rather Thomas then _Gordon._" Caitlin replied, as the three engines shared another round of laughs.


	2. Chapter 2

Terribly sorry I haven't been active! (Embarassingly enough- I might've locked myself out of my own account -_- then forgot the password o_o then forgot I even had an account until recently... *sigh* embarrassing, I'm aware)

But here's an update on Much Ado about Engines! I should be getting around to Diesel X again as well, my apologies for deserting it!

...

Just then, a party of familiar whistles filled the castle grounds. "Oh, here they come!" Caitlin whistled excitedly. Her friends did the same, grinning broadly as Stephen, Gordon, Percy and all the other engines.

"Hello, Sir Robert!" Stephen greeted warmly. "I know you weren't expecting so many us- hopefully you've got room for us all?" He flashed an apologetic smile. "After all, sir, I know how much you _love _parties! I figured I'd bring the party to you this time!" A chorus of whistles behind him went off in agreement.

"Oh my dear Stephen- you are never trouble to this castle!" Sir Robert replied, patting The Rocket's side. "It's comforting when trouble departs. But when you leave, you take happiness with you and leave sorrow in its place- it's been quite lonely without you here, my friend." He whispered.

A familiar, French-accented "Ahem!" quickly retorted, "I've been here too, sir! What about me?"

"Sorry, Millie! Of course when you're around, my day gets even brighter!" chuckled the nobleman. "After all," he continued, addressing the rest of the engines this time, "The more the merrier!"

"You really are your own kind, Sir Robert," Stephen chuckled softly, as he entered the grounds, the other engines following suit, before he stopped.

"And..I don't think we've met before- who are you, my dear engine?" He addressed Molly, who simply blushed shyly at the kind greeting. Caitlin and Toby shared cheeky, knowing glances at this. "Does she belong to your fleet, Sir Robert?"

"No, unfortunately, Sir Topham has claimed her first," Sir Robert laughed, patting Molly's buffer. "I could never own such a sweet, reliable engine such as she."

Another "Ahem!" from a French narrow gauge engine interrupted their exchange.

"Sorry, Millie!" Sir Robert called out, laughing nervously. "I haven't forgotten you, Millie, I promise!"

"Pah- an engine of that hideous color could never be a _prominent _member of Sir Topham Hatt's fleet." Gordon butted in, pompously. The yellow tender engine looked dejected at this.

"Now, Gordon," Toby answered, sternly. "It's hardly right of you to be so rude- especially to one of your fellow engines! You apologize immediately."

"I'm sure I can spot a useful engine when I see one," the blue engine replied snootily. "Tell me, Toby- when's the last you've even heard of Moly leaving her mark on Sodor?"

"Still talking, Gordon? We stopped listening ages ago," Caitlin slid in, wryly, much to the amusement of the engines around her. Even Sir Robert let out a giggle at the feeling of drama unfolding.

"Still _around_, Caitlin? I thought you_ left _Sodor ages ago," Gordon answered monotonously.

"And why leave and miss an opportunity to watch the proud and strong Gordon meet his match?" The streamline engine quipped.

"Thankfully, I don't need a match- no one could match me."

"Finding a match for you would not only be hard, but unfortunate." Caitlin muttered.

Meanwhile, the other engines were enjoying this, quiet snickers and whispers filling the air. Molly especially- serves Gordon right for insulting her like that! And the only one to properly put Gordon in his place was Caitlin these days.

"Keep talking like that, dear Caitlin- you'll never find a match either!" Gordon mocked. "We all reach the scrapyard one day!"

"I suppose scrapping you won't make you look any worse, right?" The magenta enging muttered darkly, to a chorus of cheeky "oohs" from the other engines (and Sir Robert, too, who let out a snicker behind a fist).

The blue engine, taken aback, was silent. "That's it, I'm done." He spoke at last, preparing to puff out of the grounds.

"Leaving when you're about to lose- nothing's changed, eh, Gordon?" Caitlin jeered after him, causing the blue engine to stop literally dead in his tracks, and the still tittering engines to increase their mirth even further.

"Consider yourself the loser of this round, Gordon!" Thomas laughed.

"The proud, strong Gordon- losing to a _girl _in a screaming match?" James chimed in.

"Just you wait." Gordon sulked as he continued towards the castle exit.

"Hey, wait up, Gordon!" Stephen called. "Sir Robert has invited you all to stay here at the castle for the night. He knows we've traveled a lot and you lot can head back home to Tidmouth in the morning." Gordon rolled his eyes, and groaned. He had just been embarrased- no- _obliterated _verbally by Caitlin, and now he had to spend a whole night here, too? Oh, the indignity!

"I'll let down the gates, come along, everyone! The fun is just starting!" Sir Robert cheered, as he and the cavalcade head into the main court of the castle to begin the celebrations.

Except for Gordon, who dragged himself in moodily, accompanied by James and Henry, the latter of which whispered to their blue friend teasingly.


End file.
